Lost In Your Smile

My heart skips a beat whenever I see you smile =)

Life Is Full Of Challenges. Get Over It!

Life's full of challenges and every obstacle in our path's a lesson to something new. Lessons in the art of appreciation, lessons in forgiveness, lessons in becoming your best self and so on. Tough times always make you stronger after you successfully defeat what brings you down and pick yourself up from the ground.

In life, you meet mean people. In relationships, you meet the wrong ones. When he loves you, he can be super nice and you feel that you're the luckiest person on earth but after feelings fade, you see the angel halo above his head slowly fading and the devil horns revealing. He tells you he has no time for you and leaves you to bleed, with false hopes. You wait like a fool, not knowing that he's just toying around with your feelings. Every night, you cry yourself to sleep and say encouraging words to make yourself have faith in him. There's no sign but you keep waiting and deep down in your heart, you feel emptiness. You cry a million tears.

And what does he do?

He pretends to be busy when you're around. He gives you the frosty stare when you try to talk to him. Your friends tell you that he's after this girl and you don't believe it till you witness with your own watery eyes. He gives the present that you bought for him to the girl and claims that he bought it on his own. He dedicates this poem to her when long time ago he said it was for you and now you realize it's a lie. You see his true colors and he's not capable of understanding what he's done to you. You wanna understand why but you're hurting yourself. You swallow your pride and try to be forgiving but he doesn't seem to give a shit. His heart belongs to someone else.

And what're you gonna do?

Now, I'm sure I haven't passed this lesson in forgiving but I don't wanna be trapped in this cage of hate. I forced myself to let my clenched fist open but sometimes, I feel the adrenaline bursting through my veins still. In order to forgive, the other party should feel sorry but he's just too self-centered. He doesn't admit that he's a bastard. Some say he's not worthy of my forgiveness but what I still need to do though is to let go and release anger. That's hard but I'm on my way. Or can I just take a shortcut to pretend that I never knew this person? Maybe this rotten apple does not belong living in my precious memory.

This chapter in my life has ended.

Gathering At Q.S. Karaoke

Well, yesterday night was supposed to be my farewell party but I didn't wanna put it that way. After all, I would still be in Nilai to complete my application for universities so, gathering will do and that makes a lot of difference 'cause being a "V.I.P. of the day" means that you are not allowed to go home unless you're blind drunk!

Initially, we planned to either eat steamboat in Seremban or barbecue at P.D. but, we ended up drinking and singing at Q.S. KTV in Nilai. It was awesome though. It was one holy shit crazy night and I enjoyed myself to the max! Thanks, Selina for the pressie and everyone else for bringing more joy into my life. *Hugs to all*.

At the beginning, we started off drinking slowly, chilling, singing and playing cards/dice. Everything seemed so peaceful. We were enjoying ourselves with the singer of the night, Victoria with her awesome voice playing in the background. I was quite excited but nah, didn't do anything stupid, didn't even try. At least not until they made me bottoms up two bottles of beer and you know, BEER = gas, gas, gas and a lot of burping/puking. EWE!

As usual, I always get effing hyper after drinking. I was running all over the place, camwhoring, head-banging, dancing, screaming, jumping on the sofas and unfortunately, I tripped. TWICE! Once was when I hopped on to my seat, I lost my balance and fell. Another time was when I wanted to pass the mic to Victoria before her song started. I just fell backward from the sofa. Despite the wound and bruises on my knees, I had fun! Lotsa fun!

Fei Lai Suk Suk

Fen & her boyfriend
Fei Lai & Alan

Ong Tong

Victoria, Selina & her boyfriend, Gao Lao

Chok Wei

Soon

WaLi MinPoh Yih

Fen

Victoria

Selina

Playing cards/dice session

Drinking session

Singing session

Dancing session

Alright, time to show you my achievements in the camwhoring session.

Not too many pics huh? Actually there are more but..
I'm not gonna post it 'cause they're freaking ugly!

I love all of you. Thanks for brightening my days! :-* Mwaaaaah!

Oh and this is how my knees look like now. Ouch!!

Beautiful Lady

Thank you for dedicating this song to me (",)
But firstly, I'm not beautiful and secondly, I'm not lucky enough to be your lady.
There's someone out there, wherever she may be.



Forgive me for the damage I'd caused.

Fate Will Decide

My little "bean curd" has grown up. I understand that you wanna start life anew. It's good to know that you'll be independent and when the time you told me you'll be leaving Nilai for a fresh start in somewhere else, I actually shed happy tears for you but at the same time I feel heavy-hearted as it's always sad to see someone leave, especially you. These mixed feelings, it's just hard to describe. After all that you've done for me and what we've been through, I can only promise you that I'll take good care of myself. I hope you would do the same. You promised.

You told me this - "There's this way of loving that is to let go." I know it's really hard for you. Well, nobody said that releasing a person you truly love from the grasp of your heart is easy but you'd already taken the first step! It's a good start and soon enough you'll be in a new environment and by then you won't be blinded by love and it'll be easier for you. I believe there's a lucky girl out there for you. Love is not always predictable.

Finally, I wish you luck in your adventurous journey to a new beginning. You found your goals then work for it. I would pray for your happiness and I know you would do the same for me. I'm sorry I can't bid you farewell. Although it could be my last appearance, it would destroy your determination in chasing your dreams like it happened long time ago. We may or may not meet again in future. Let fate decide but you'll definitely be missed =)

"No matter how powerful the darkness, there is always a light shining through."

I Found A Better Me

Bless the day he left me. Well, I did lose a piece of myself but I'd gained even more! Finally, yes, I found myself. Say "hello" to the new me!

I found my hopes and dreams. They are obvious to me now and I'll keep them alive. I have a loving family and true, amazing friends. They managed to catch me before I hit the ground. They tell me I deserve better. Yes, I think so too!

What's funny is that after so many years, about 6-7 years? I finally got to know why this drunken ex of mine broke up with me back then. I'm so glad that we can still be friends and talk to each other like we've never done that before. I laughed my freaking ass off when you told me you had to write about the stuff you wanted to tell me before we conversed on the phone. I'm so surprised because I did that, too and my list was only slightly longer! Half a page? So, "a toast to being single, to seeing double and enjoying triple!" w00t!

Oh and before I forget, here's my last piece of advice. No matter how shitty you feel or how bad your situation is, please don't lose the moral values that I once saw in you. If you insist on wearing a mask, wear it perfectly and good luck playing with fire! Your arrogance cured me somehow and I thank you for it.

What Do My Stars Say About Me?

Although what I think about myself could be different from what others think about me,
I think it's more than 80% true.

The Angel And Devil In Her

He's awakened the devil in her. For once, she thought of being mean to him. She thought of treating him like a clown. She thought of humiliating him in front of crowds. He doesn't respect her and she would do the same to him. The fire was burning in her. The fire of vengeance. The fire of wrath. The demon in her was already charging towards him with her fork but at the same time, there was this voice within which pulled her back.

Her expression softened. The pain and anger vanished. The angel in her is way stronger and has won the battle. She smiled and said to herself, "Let him be. Someday he'll grow up and realize what he's done. I'll give him chances to learn from his mistakes." She forgives him. Or perhaps, she just doesn't give a damn about him anymore.