My little "bean curd" has grown up. I understand that you wanna start life anew. It's good to know that you'll be independent and when the time you told me you'll be leaving Nilai for a fresh start in somewhere else, I actually shed happy tears for you but at the same time I feel heavy-hearted as it's always sad to see someone leave, especially you. These mixed feelings, it's just hard to describe. After all that you've done for me and what we've been through, I can only promise you that I'll take good care of myself. I hope you would do the same. You promised.
You told me this - "There's this way of loving that is to let go." I know it's really hard for you. Well, nobody said that releasing a person you truly love from the grasp of your heart is easy but you'd already taken the first step! It's a good start and soon enough you'll be in a new environment and by then you won't be blinded by love and it'll be easier for you. I believe there's a lucky girl out there for you. Love is not always predictable.
Finally, I wish you luck in your adventurous journey to a new beginning. You found your goals then work for it. I would pray for your happiness and I know you would do the same for me. I'm sorry I can't bid you farewell. Although it could be my last appearance, it would destroy your determination in chasing your dreams like it happened long time ago. We may or may not meet again in future. Let fate decide but you'll definitely be missed =)
Bless the day he left me. Well, I did lose a piece of myself but I'd gained even more! Finally, yes, I found myself. Say "hello" to the new me!
I found my hopes and dreams. They are obvious to me now and I'll keep them alive. I have a loving family and true, amazing friends. They managed to catch me before I hit the ground. They tell me I deserve better. Yes, I think so too!
What's funny is that after so many years, about 6-7 years? I finally got to know why this drunken ex of mine broke up with me back then. I'm so glad that we can still be friends and talk to each other like we've never done that before. I laughed my freaking ass off when you told me you had to write about the stuff you wanted to tell me before we conversed on the phone. I'm so surprised because I did that, too and my list was only slightly longer! Half a page? So, "a toast to being single, to seeing double and enjoying triple!" w00t!
Oh and before I forget, here's my last piece of advice. No matter how shitty you feel or how bad your situation is, please don't lose the moral values that I once saw in you. If you insist on wearing a mask, wear it perfectly and good luck playing with fire! Your arrogance cured me somehow and I thank you for it.
Although what I think about myself could be different from what others think about me,
He's awakened the devil in her. For once, she thought of being mean to him. She thought of treating him like a clown. She thought of humiliating him in front of crowds. He doesn't respect her and she would do the same to him. The fire was burning in her. The fire of vengeance. The fire of wrath. The demon in her was already charging towards him with her fork but at the same time, there was this voice within which pulled her back.
Her expression softened. The pain and anger vanished. The angel in her is way stronger and has won the battle. She smiled and said to herself, "Let him be. Someday he'll grow up and realize what he's done. I'll give him chances to learn from his mistakes." She forgives him. Or perhaps, she just doesn't give a damn about him anymore.
I just realized that you're so packed with lies, false hopes and excuses just to prove that you're innocent. If going two ways were the best choice for you, then why did you leave me with false hopes? And after some time, there's this 360-degree change in you. Is it just for the sake of breaking a little, blind, foolish girl's tiny heart?
It really doesn't matter if you're going after this girl whom you used to bitch about. I don't give a shit. Really. But you need to learn how to stop bitching about people and show some respect. Otherwise, don't expect anything in return.
By the way, the little something that I gave you as a birthday present which you told me you very much appreciated it *Oh really?!*, I'll just take it as a bad investment. Don't you feel guity? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? I wish you would tell me that it is just misinformation or hearsay, hearsay...BUT, the question is "Can you prove reality wrong?".
I don't need an answer. I don't need a reason. I appreciated you. I've done my part and this is the furthest I can go. You've built a wall around you, as thick as the Great Walls of China. Your icy cold stare almost killed me. It was venomous but I neither blame you nor hate you. I was the one who allowed my heart to get stabbed. The pain is too much to bare. I'm bleeding. I'm clueless but it doesn't matter anymore. If the best way to love you were to let you go, I would grant you your wish. No matter what, yours I'll never be. Let the hopes and dreams you gave me remain a mystery. Just remember, it was your choice.
The dagger sliced deeper. A million tears remain in me but I do not cry. I don't wanna cry in the deafening silence no more. I don't wanna weep for the memories every night. I miss you, deep within but I can't lie to myself anymore. I have pride. I have dignity. I've re-awakened the self-respect that I've once lost. I can't stay at the steep ledge any longer. I'll never forget you. I'll never regret having you by my side as you were once my happiness. No remorse but no more tears. No more promises.
Now, I'm picking up the scattered pieces from the ground and I'm trying to scrub the letters "T-R-O-Y" which were deeply engraved into my heart. I'd closed the door. I'd tossed the key as far as I could. This tiny heart needs a mending for the time being. Goodbye, my love. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you happiness.
